The Gremlins or Monsters we rarely talk about – but hear endlessly in our minds.

You know those moments when you're all set to leap but then freeze mid-air?

That's when your inner gremlins decide to have a chat. Trust me, I've been there, drowning in self-doubt while trying to become a better coach. So, why not address these nagging voices head-on?

What on Earth are They?

Gremlins are those sneaky thoughts, nagging beliefs, and made-up stories we create for ourselves. They bring doubt, fear of failure, anxiety, and sometimes make us wish for an invisible cloak – just to escape them for a bit. Here's how you can confront your gremlins, whether you're looking to advance in your career, try something new, or be the best version of yourself.

The Four Types of Gremlins:

Fear of Dreaming: Are you afraid to even consider your dreams due to self-doubt or feelings of unworthiness?
• Examples Include: Feeling unworthy of having a loving spouse, starting a business, taking up a new hobby, or training for a race.
• Actionable Steps:
• Identify Your Dreams: Write down your dreams, big and small. Give yourself permission to dream without limits.
• Challenge Limiting Beliefs: For each dream, note down negative thoughts. Counteract them with positive affirmations or evidence that supports your capabilities.
• Visualize Success: Spend a few minutes daily picturing yourself succeeding in your chosen dreams. Feel the positive impact it brings.
• Seek Support: Reach out to a coach or a supportive friend. Their perspective can be invaluable.
• Start Small: Pick one dream and take a small step, like researching or planning.

Fear of Upsetting Others: Do you worry about others' reactions and blame external conditions for not pursuing goals?

• Examples Include: Fearing that your success might upset others in your marriage, community, or surroundings.
• Actionable Steps:
• Define Your Vision: Clearly state your goals and align them with your values.
• Reflect on Impact: Consider how your success benefits others. Focus on the positive changes you bring.
• Challenge Worries: When you fear upsetting others, ask if your actions genuinely harm them or if it's unfounded fear.
• Effective Communication: If needed, talk openly about your intentions. Explain your vision while listening to their perspective.
• Practice Assertiveness: Set healthy boundaries and express your needs while respecting others.

Fear of Failure: Do you act but encounter self-sabotage due to feelings of inadequacy or lack of resources during the “execution phase”?

• Examples Include: Feeling like you lack the capabilities, skills, or resources to succeed, especially when faced with challenges.
• Actionable Steps:
• Embrace Failure as Learning: View failure as a step toward success. Remember times when failure led to growth.
• Break Down Goals: Divide bigger goals into smaller tasks. Celebrate each step forward.
• Positive Self-Talk: Develop affirmations that counter fear of failure. Remind yourself of your strengths.
• Build Resilience: Engage in activities outside your comfort zone. Embrace failures as learning opportunities.
• Seek Feedback: Get constructive feedback from mentors or peers. Use it to improve.

Fear of Conflict: Do you have feelings arise surrounding leading the life you want in fear harming or upsetting others by expressing your authentic self or your priorities?

• Examples Include: Feeling hesitant to express your personal beliefs, boundaries, or desires to avoid conflicts.
• Actionable Steps:
• Identify Values: Clarify your core values as a foundation for authentic expression.
• Practice Decisiveness: Make choices aligned with your values.
• Express Boundaries: Communicate your values and boundaries.
• Confront Indecision: Address fears behind indecision. Is it values or fear of conflict?
• Courageous Conversations: Engage in discussions aligned with your values, even if conflicts arise.
• Carve out Time: Spend a few minutes each day focusing on aligning your actions with your desired outcomes.
• Commit to Values: Each time the gremlin arrives, review your values and recommit to your desired outcomes.

Breaking Down a Gremlin:

True story this past week I wanted to join the swimming club, but I started imagining what if they make fun of me, what if I’m not good enough, or what if I struggle during practice?

I hit a mental roadblock about joining the swimming club which could help me get closer to my goal of swimming across the lake which I commenced working towards in July. This is a classic fear of failure gremlin at play. I've acted, but feelings of inadequacy and doubt have crept in.

1. Embrace Failure as Learning: I remind myself that failure is part of growth. If I don't fit in or struggle initially, it's a chance to learn and improve.

2. Break Down Goals:

• Commit to 4-5 days a week, 40 minutes per session.
• Monthly lap goals, increasing gradually.
• Begin by attending the club once a week to ease into it.
• Enroll in fall swimming lessons for personalized skill enhancement.
• Ultimately, prepare to swim across the lake next summer.

3. Positive Self-Talk:

• "Just keep swimming!" (As Dory would say).
• "You've overcome challenges before. You can do this."
• "Progress is a journey, not a single event."

4. Build Resilience:

• Aim for 40 laps this week to push my limits.
• Request to join the club as a guest to familiarize myself.
• Focus on breath control and extend pool time from 30 to 40 minutes.

5. Seek Feedback:

• Connect with fellow swimmers at the club for insights and camaraderie.
• Benefit from the club's group sessions and collective expertise.
• Consider private lessons to refine my techniques and address challenges.

What happens Next:

Try it on – the next time a pesky thought arises and tries to hold you back – identify what it may be showing up as in terms of the type of Gremlin and then follow the steps. Feel free to share in an email the exercise as you work through it. Just because the gremlins are here today it doesn’t mean they have to show up as loudly tomorrow. Baby steps.

If you're ready to explore your gremlins, reach out to me at info@cultivatingconversations.ca; sometimes, a conversation can be the first step to untangling the limitations and reaching your wildest dreams.

Love & Light,
Catherine – your friend, coach, fellow gremlin hunter & aspiring leader